ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize