I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
