I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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