if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
