She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you win again, gameday.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The power of my boobs compel you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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