it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize