I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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