Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
