The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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