dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
