The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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