ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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