what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
