Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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