Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
