thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
