two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
