I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
