we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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