Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
