It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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