Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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