Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
