That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
