somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
