I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
