Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
