I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
