there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
