People in love make me want to vomit
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
