if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
