he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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