I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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