So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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