So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
