Swine flu. Run for my life!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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