So drunk its hurt
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
