I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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