For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
