yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
