You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
