youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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