Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
