My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he fucked my hip out of place.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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