i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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