She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
