So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
