im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
