So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
God, I missed his penis.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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