thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
