he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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