She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
