so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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