Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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