Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We need to get me chipped asap
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
