At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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