This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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