Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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