But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
