I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
